Thursday, September 29, 2016

FAQ #2 Questions Asked In Real Life

This is a collection of FAQ's I have been asked as I am transitioning in public, I try and answer as best I can...

Question: What is dead naming?

Answer: If you see my first FAQ we talk about getting my name correct, and people will make mistakes which is OK, what is really hurtful are those who don't try or maliciously use my old name.  Using my old name in anyway is dead naming, it says you don't acknowledge or accept who I am authentically.

Some examples may be scenario's like this:

- That new girl isn't new, she has worked her a long time, she used to be called Nigel
- Hi this is my friend Cynthia, you might remember her as Nigel before her transition
- Oh you look familiar, didn't you used to be called Nigel

As long as you try and get the name and pro nouns right and we help each other remember that is all is asked of us in being respectful to each other.

Question: I have had it said that I can not accept until I understand?
Answer: Acceptance Before Understanding
What we are asking you to do is accept us as human beings with love and the right to make our own decisions, that's it.
Reality is that if you consider yourself a friend you are already accepting, while I suspect most of you don't understand and your not alone.
The reality is that you may never understand.
So please accept us before understanding

Question: What does the path to transition look like now you are on hormones?
My transition roadmap and future decision points are becoming clearer but ALWAYS subject to change.
As I am transitioning while working there will be a surgery per year for at least the next 3 years I suspect.
Face first, so I look more feminine even without makeup. Laser and Electrolysis first to remove facial hair before scheduling surgery or deciding where to go.
If I decide on the next step, bottom surgery next as I have to live 1 year full time as a women before that is even a discussion. When I begin work full time as me and not the old me, the 1 year clock starts counting down.
Voice next so I sound Feminine, that allows me time to get vocal coaching to see if I can control my voice which will enhance the results. Currently I LOVE the results from Yeson (google search yeson voice surgery), check out the YouTube videos on before and after results, AMAZING!
Finally somewhere in that process but after at least 1 yr on HRT is breast enhancement surgery if it is required.
Not specific to transition but general procedures to support body shaping and creating curves subject to many factors are future considerations.


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